Not a King – An Idol

I’m sure by now you have seen the abomination of a Club Newbirth video. The height of the abomination was when the “rabbi” (my apologies to the authentic rabbis out there) wrapped Fast Eddie in the Torah. Some have said it would have been more appropriate to use Charmin, but that borders on a personal attack. And we here at Pulpit Pimps dot Org frown upon personal attacks. Generally.

At first, I was going to rail against Fast Eddie, Rabbi Moronowitz, and the Elders of the Club Newbirth. But then I thought about it. And being a TV and movie fan, I couldn’t help but think about it in terms of movies.

The whole thing was eerily reminiscent of a scene from “The Ten Commandments” with Charlton Heston and Edward G. Robinson (“Yeah, where’s your God now Moses?”). I’m sure you religious people out there saw the movie because I keep hearing you quote the movie instead of the Bible. And ABC shows it every Easter Weekend. Well, here is a case of life imitating art.

When you get right down to it, this sorry affair isn’t about Fast Eddie, the rabbi, or the elders. It’s about the congregation. At best, Rabbi Moronowitz is playing the part of Edward G. Robison in the movie. Fast Eddie is the dumb ox (Hey! He’s the one who wears the muscle shirts all the time).

Again, this isn’t about Fast Eddie. If you watch the Newbirth video, the congregation is almost foaming at the mouth when the rabbi presents Fast Eddie to them. They were dancing around like the Israelites in the movie. The elders were even carrying Fast Eddie on their shoulders (Around 3:43 in the movie clip). They’re not as svelte as the extras in the movie, but they are just as deceived.

And of course the results of following after the false god is shown in this clip.

Why do I rail against the pimps? To warn you about their dangers. They don’t preach the truth. If you sit under them long enough, you will not be able to recognize the truth if it bit you on the butt. Worse than that, you will not be able to recognize error if it kicked you in the…uh…‘nads.

If you are willing to sit under such error, it is actually a possible indicator of your spiritual condition. Asking the question “Are you even saved?” becomes a completely valid action. After all, the Bible pretty well points out that the saved, God’s sheep, will not be deceived. (Matthew 24;24; John 10:26 – 29) They will not listen to a false prophet speaking lies against God. In case you are not familiar with the John text, I’ll quote it right here for you:

26 but you do not believe because you are not among my sheep. 27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

Did you get that? We follow Jesus, not some doofus who lets himself be appointed as king.

But let’s give the members of Club Newbirth the benefit of the doubt. Let’s assume they were surprised by Rabbi Moronowitz and got caught up in the moment. You know, a bunch of old guys who are borderline senile, some young people who just didn’t think the whole thing through before they responded, and some women who just love Fast Eddie because of his intrinsic beefcake value.

It’s been a couple of weeks now. Let’s see if the people at Club Newbirth back away from the idolatry they participated in a couple of Sundays ago. Let’s see if the bleeding continues with the membership numbers. Or let’s see if the people who stayed behind are so blind to the truth of the Gospel that they follow this man right into the jaws of hell.

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15 Responses to “Not a King – An Idol”

  1. Keith L. Tolbert Says:

    Glad you’re back, Mel! Or am I really late?

  2. Nic Says:

    I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining but the font on this website is very hard to read in Google Chrome on Windows 7. I had to send it to ReadItLater to be able to read it. Is it some setting on my computer that I need to change to see this font?

    Anyway, just before reading this I saw that Bishop Long apologized for some of the crazy and denounced being crowned king http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/05/us/georgia-eddie-long-apology/index.html?hpt=us_c2

    • Nic Says:

      You can delete my previous comment. I didn’t see your post with the link that I put in my comment until just now in my feed reader. So my comment is useless. Haha.

    • mhjones2001 Says:

      Yeah, about the font: Lenny, my Vastly Overpriced Webmaster, has been trying to figure out how to increase the size and font on the web site. I’d like it to be larger without doing any kind of magnification on the browser. But so far, he’s just been flailing around.

  3. brdavision Says:

    “I’m sure you religious people out there saw the movie because I keep hearing you quote the movie instead of the Bible. And ABC shows it every Easter Weekend.” lololol

    I’ve got family who’ve built their whole theology based on that movie. That family includes elders and ministers in COGIC.

    • Ms Anderson Says:

      I hear you. I don’t even watch movies that are said to be Bible-based as I haven’t (as of this date) seen any that stick to Scripture. I wonder how they are able to make a movie about one Bible personage that can last so long (two hours or more). The fillers or fill-ins used to make the movie so long are not true to Scripture.

      I’d also like to comment of the font. It’s too light in color. There’s nothing else wrong with it except it’s a light gray in color and very difficult to read. But the family that this font comes from is not a bad font at all–again, just to faint/light.

  4. mhjones2001 Says:

    But you gotta admit that the narrator really sounds biblical as he describes what’s happening on the screen. And he sounds kind of prophetty.

  5. phil Says:

    The Macho King

    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckKvbTOaOTc?rel=0&w=560&h=315%5D

  6. Naijelle Says:

    I saw this on YouTube. Was checking the site to see what was said about it because most “christians” don’t have much to say. This is crazy!!! As for the Rabbi….Matt 23:8 says: But be NOT you called Rabbi: for one is your MASTER, even christ; and all you are brethren…this scripture says that there is only one master and NONE are to be called Rabbi. So for me there are no good Rabbi’s but one. Jesus Christ the Righteous…..but, enjoyed hearing what your opinion was on the matter.

  7. James Heckel Says:

    Disgusting. This spectacle reminds me of the coronation of Pope Alexander VI to the Papacy in 1492 – his supporters (idolaters, really) carried banners marking ‘the coronation of the great god Alexander’. How is this any different? It would appear that Still Birth I mean NEW Birth has its own Alexander VI right there in Georgia. You know what they say – the more things change, right?

  8. Ms Anderson Says:

    I have no clue how this greedy man, an hireling, was able to set up such a “church” as he has with thousands of silly people, especially the women. These people actually idolize that man. He can do NO wrong as far as they are concerned. I guess nobody in his congregation actually takes time to read their Bibles or take the time listen to real expositors of God’s word.

    “Acts 17:11 These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.”

    Once people get roped in by this kind of man, they will not listen to anybody else, and they will trust people like him completely, without question. They, like sheep, have ALL gone astray.

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