Archive for the ‘Copeland’ Category

What Next? Kenneth Popeland?

July 23, 2014

pope copeland

Around January 2014, Pope Francis sent a video to Kenneth Copeland, the leader of Believer’s Voice of Victory (BVOV) and the defacto leader of the Word of Faith (WOF) community. The purpose of the video was to appeal to the WOF community for unity. Just recently, Ken Copeland paid the pope a visit. The big topic? You guessed it – unity.
It’s fitting that the Roman Catholic Church (RCC)should appeal to BVOV and not to orthodox Christianity. What do these two organizations (RCC and BVOV)have in common? A very loose association with Biblical doctrine.

Copeland believes (or at least says) God is about 6 feet tall, weighs around 200 pounds and lives on a planet. He preaches that faith is a force, God used faith to create the universe and that we can use that same force to to speak things into existence. He preaches that Jesus went to Hell (not hades or the underworld) and was tortured by Satan for three days. He says Job suffered as he did because he was afraid. None of this is supported by Scripture, at least not by a contextual reading of Scripture.

“That’s crazy,” you say. “Why would anyone seek unity with a bunch of crazies like that?” Well, there is that old saying: “Birds of a feather flock together.” If you think all the stuff Copeland believes is crazy, take a look at some of what the Catholics buy into.

Mary never sinned. In fact, hers was an immaculate conception. According to one of the Catholic encyclopedias “Mary…in the first instance (at the moment) of her conception was preserved exempt from all stain of original sin.” She was born sinless and she stayed that way. And of course, she was also a virgin, an eternal, blessed virgin. After all, you can’t be sinless and engage in something as tawdry as sex…with your husband.

Mary’s body is no longer on the Earth. When she died her body was physically assumed into heaven. And now she is the Mediatrix between us and Jesus, according to  Pope Leo (1894) Pope Paul VI.

So as you can see, both sets of folks have a habit of pulling things out of thin air a pronouncing them as valid doctrine. Copeland has prophecies and visions, and really weird interpretations of Scripture. The RCC has the Magesterium and its endless supply of supposed traditions, visions, and apparitions. So tell me: if they unite, what has the greatest authority, Copeland’s prophecies or Francis’ traditions, visions, and apparitions?

Run away from both of these sets of people. They don’t use Scripture as their standard.  And as a result they don’t adhere to the Gospel.  Copeland says Jesus suffered in hell for our sins, that His death on the cross was physical and couldn’t pay for our sins.

The RCC says you have to be baptized…or not, and you have to believe that Mary is the mother of God, having participated in the redeeming sacrifice of her Son…or not.  And that you have to believe on the work Jesus accomplished on the cross…or not.

If this unity thing gains momentum, maybe Copeland will end up being the Pope. Does that mean we would address him as Kenneth Popeland?

Get Your Book – Get Your Breakthrough: Pulpit Pimping for Dummies

April 14, 2012

 (Thanks to realchristianity.wordpress.com for making this available again.  My original is still locked up on my old server. )

Take your ministry to the next level. Walk in divine prosperity. Get the break through you keep promising the sheeple. Drive the best cars, live in the biggest house, fly the best planes and patronize the best restaurants.

The Dummies guide tells you how to convince people to give you more money than they can afford to give you. But not only that, it teaches you how to make those people to think you are doing them a favor by taking the money. We give you the secrets for convincing people to pay you their tithes BEFORE they pay their rent or electric bill. Do you want to make people financially dependent on you? We’ll tell you how.

You want to be worshiped as if you are the Christ? The Dummies guide teaches you how to walk, talk, and threaten so that even the most stubborn (though stupid) sheeple will be willing to quote you rather than the Bible.

Are there people in your congregation who regularly disagree with you and base that disagreement on an accurate understanding of Scripture? The Dummies guide gives you foolproof instructions on how get them out of your congregation and how to make the sheeple believe they are being obedient to God when they turn their backs on the rebel.

Once you begin to read the book and practice the techniques it promotes, you should see an almost immediate increase in your income. Tip toeing around you should increase by at least twenty percent – from the first week of practicing what the book preaches.

How do you intimidate without appearing to be doing so? It’s in there.

How do you get the congregation to buy you a house bigger than the apartment buildings most of your congregants live in? It’s in there.

Maybe you want to be the top earner in your state? Just like the rest of the stuff you want to do – it’s in there.

“Pulpit Pimping for Dummies” provides you all the information, and all the guidance you need to apply the information to get to where you want to be, to get what you want out of life, to rake in as much money, cars and other stuff as you want.

There’s even a special Scumbag section that has tons of information on how the best of the scumbags get away with sexual harassment and abuse, spanking, raping, incest and just plain fooling around with some of the Gospel groupies. We tell you how to intimidate folks to keep silent, what Scriptures to use to keep the sheeple thinking they should feel bad about doubting whatever you tell them, and how to make sure you are repeating “touch not God’s anointed” often enough to be effective but not often enough to lessen the impact.

What are the five characteristics of a worship leader that will make sure your offering always grow? They’re in there.

How do you pick the right men as deacons or elders to make sure you can take the church in whatever direction you want? Yep. It’s in there.

Want to know how to talk your way around the clear teaching against co-pastors, female pastors and bishops, or female elders? You guessed it. It’s in there.

If you order “Pulpit Pimping for Dummies” today, you will be on your way to becoming the top dog in your community. And before too long, you be reaching Bid Dogdom in your county and state. With a consistent application of the material, you could even end up on TBN and other venues for increasing your fame and ability to rake in money.

Here are some unsolicited testimonies from folks who have followed the advice in my book:

“I was having trouble getting the congregation to just buy me a new suit. But once I started following the advice of “P-P for Dummies” they not only buy me suits now, they even buy me cars. I had to build a new garage to handle all the overflow.” – Bishop Gary Hawkins

“I thought Pastor Melvin was crazy the first time I read his book. But after growing the church from eight people who wanted to follow Christ to 5,600 people willing to follow me any where, and give me anything, I recommend the book. Sure Melvin’s crazy – crazy like a fox.” – Bishop Eddie Long

“I went from a traditional Baptist church with two hundred families housed in a dinky little building in the center of Glenarden Maryland, to more than 7,000 members housed in mega church structure costing more than $55 million dollars. And I convinced everyone to build it in the middle of nowhere. Thanks “P-P for Dummies!” John K. Jenkins

“It’s hard to believe that people can be manipulated so easily. The stuff Melvin shared in the book works on television and over the internet just as well as it does in a church building. I would never have been able to get that second jet, the Citation, without his advice.” Ken Copeland

“Melvin helped me to understand that it doesn’t matter what you preach, whether you deny the diety of Jesus or the effectiveness of His death on the cross. He showed me how to get a really great business jet, residences in several cities, including New York City, and a load of cash like you wouldn’t believe. If you want to be the best Pulpit Pimp you can be, buy Melvin’s book. It will pay for itself by the next time you take up an offering using his advice.” Creflo Dollar

These are just some of the testimonies people have written in, proving that “Pulpit Pimping for Dummies” is a valuable tool for you to add to your preaching toolbox. With the added income practically guaranteed, you’ll be able to buy all those other book (commentaries, bible dictionaries and crap) so you can impress the one or two kind of smart sheeple you occasionally allow into your house.

Order it now. Get your break through. Be the best pimp you can be with no more effort than it takes to go out to dinner – at the best restaurants of course.


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