Pretty Peggy Ties Her Shoes!

June 6, 2014

It’s time for another Pretty Peggy Update.  I have been somewhat remiss in getting you the details of Pretty Peggy’s recovery.  She has, despite her occassional excursions from the diet we have been trying to follow, been generally improving with respect to the damage done by the fall down the stair, all twelve of them.

To review, right after the fall she couldn’t do much of anything:  not use a fork without exhausting herself, not put on a shirt, not hold a glass all by herself.  Friends came in while she was in rehab and fed her, kept her company, and otherwise let her know that everybody loves them some Peggy.

She has been improving.  Sometimes very slowly, sometimes with noticeable speed.  Here is a Pretty Peggy video.  She’s tying her shoe.  She already tied the first one.

See what you think.

 

TD and The Oprah – Still Yoked Together

June 5, 2014

yoke with oprah

Here’s where I get confused.

T. Dexter Jakes (AKA Bishop T. D. Jakes to the sheeple) professes to be a “mand of Gawd”, a Christian pursuing holiness, a disciple who wants to die to self and be obedient to Christ.  He claims to be Spirit-filled, tongues speaking (I know this is true because I saw him speaking in tongues when Tyler Perry laid hand on him and gave him a bunch of money for one of his projects) soldier for Jesus Christ.  He is willing to die for Christ, to renounce everything rather than…well, you get the idea.

On the other hand, Oprah Winfrey is a woman who denies the deity of Jesus Christ (Link here ), promotes what can at best be called New Age doctrine and philosophy (and that’s being generous), thinks it’s awful that God is a jealous God, and is producing a reality show featuring Michael Sam and Vito Cammissano.  What?  You don’t know who Vito Cammissano is?  Mr. Cammissano is the boyfriend of Michael Sam.  He’s the one we got to watch smooching with Michael when Michael found out he had been drafted by the NFL.

One (T. Dexter) theoretically holds to a Christian worldview, saturated with Christian values, standards, and practices.  The other holds to a world view that at best minimizes God and in many respects make man god.  Did any of you see Oprah’s netcasts with Mr. Tolle?  He is a New Age prophet if ever there was one.  And Oprah was fawning all over him.

Amos asks the question:  Do two men walk together unless they have an appointment (or agreement)?  Way later, in 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, Paul admonishes the Corinthians to avoid being too closely connected with the unsaved.  While this isn’t marriage we’re talking about here, surely you can see that the relationship isn’t your regular employer/employee kind of relationship.

If, or rather when, as a part of the Life Class, Oprah tells a homosexual he or she should fully and proudly embrace what God has made them, is T. Dexter going to correct her (on air or off)?  Not likely.

T. Dexter has this huge audience of mostly unsaved people, mostly unsaved women to talk to.  But in presenting his portion of Life Classes, he never mentions Jesus Christ.  It’s all about fulfilling your potential, getting what you want, following your instincts.   Of course I know of at least one possible reason he never mentions Jesus Christ:  He wants to keep his job with The Oprah.  Given her hostility to Jesus, it wouldn’t do to promote Him too much.  As a result, he has to compromise and teach things against the Bible.

Why did God direct Solomon to refrain from marrying the women from the surrounding kingdoms?  Why did God tell Israel to refrain from taking wives from among those outside the nation of Israel?  To avoid having their hearts turned from God. (1 Kings 11:2).

Of course, if I were a catty kind of person, I would postulate that there is no danger of this happening to T. Dexter since it’s likely his heart isn’t looking toward God to begin with.

Oh, and remember folks:  T. Dexter is the mentor of John K. Jenkins, the senior pastor of First Baptist Church of Glenarden on the Kettering.  I just though I’d remind you of that.

 

Christianity Has Lost the Current Culture War

May 31, 2014

barack-obama-gay-marriage

Christianity has lost the culture war.  But for the sake of the Church,  perhaps that is a good thing.

Now that we are an increasing minority in the culture, I suspect the Pulpit Pimps will begin to lose their sparkle with those who are genuinely saved but a little on the carnal side.

As the culture becomes more hostile to Christianity, those who would profess to be Christians will have to do one of two things.  They will either conform to the culture around us and accept whatever the world says is acceptable or they will have to stand on the Word of God (the Bible) and be willing to suffer the consequences of that stand.

Supposed Christians (especially Black ones) have refused to speak up on issue after issue.  Worse than that, we have supported for political office, men and women who flagrantly and aggressively violate those standards we say we hold.

Case in point:  Obama is the most aggressively pro-homosexual president we have ever had.  But you Black Christians keep supporting him, saying he’s a great Christian man.

Mr. Obama threatens Uganda and Nigeria when they pass laws that condemn homosexuality.  He seeks to embarrass them on the White House website. (link here)  But he says say almost nothing about countries whose governments are based on Sharia Law and require the stoning of women.  He promotes homosexuality as an international human right, but says nothing about the failure of Germany to recognize the basic rights of parents to raise their children in their faith, without interference from the state.

Mr. Obama is the most aggressively pro-abortion president in history.  As a state senator, he voted against a bill that would prevent infanticide.  His excuse?  The bill was simply an attempt to weaken a woman’s right to have her child killed while it is still in the womb.  Read his defense, in his own words, here.  He makes such ludicrous statements as “God bless Planned Parenthood”.  And it’s clear Planned Parenthood is nothing more than a conduit to abortions, usually operating in Black and poor communities.  But according to you Blacks out there, he’s a good Christian man.

This “Christian man” has put us in a position of having to either cave to the culture (in violation of Romans 12:1-2 and other sections), or being punished by the culture and the government.  Remember, Colorado just ruled that a cake maker DOES have to help homosexuals celebrate a homosexual wedding (I still refuse to call it a marriage) or suffer penalties under the law.  (Link here.  )

But as I said at the beginning of this article:  This could all be a good thing.  More and more Pimps like Joel Osteen and T. Dexter will be forced to take a stand for or against homosexual practices and abortions on demand.  They will reveal themselves as opportunists rather than pastors.  Consequently, more and more of the visible church will be composed of men and women who are more interested in pursuing holiness than in pursuing big name Word of Faith “pastors”.

So maybe I should thank Mr. Obama for laying the groundwork for the purification of the Church.

I See Now Why the World Didn’t End

May 30, 2014

I guess it had to happen. I am no longer an elder at Reformation Alive Baptist Church. In fact, I am no longer a member of Reformation Alive Baptist Church. I resigned as the Last Elder Standing a couple of months ago. I resigned as a member of that local body on 21 May 2014. I have decided I need to move on. As one man from whom I often seek counsel put it: I should probably find a place “where my gifts can be better used.”

As many of you know, I was affirmed as an elder by the congregation of Reformation Alive Baptist Church about a year and a half ago (somewhere around the first of December, 2012). This was a result of (or perhaps in preparation for) the imminent departure of the vocational elder (that’s the pastor to you people at First Baptist Church of Glenarden on the Kettering (FBCGotK)). He taught at the college and they weren’t paying them on a regular basis. I have an article on that here. When the “degreed” elder left, I became the last elder standing.

I was quite excited (and I must say sobered) about my role in the development and growth of a Reformed church. It represents an incredible responsibility, and an incredible “opportunity” to screw up.

I suspected there was going to be trouble when the church insisted they had to find a “pastor” as soon as possible. A couple of the leaders panicked and unilaterally called in a fellow to pastor us temporarily. Fortunately, rather than me becoming resentful, he became the “one man whom I often seek counsel from.” And we worked together to try to pull the church through.

And it was during this “pulling” I learned an uncomfortable truth. Not everyone understands what the church is. While I was privileged to preach the word to them for over a month and a half (not an easy task, by the way), and while I kept emphasizing that we, the members, are the church, where ever we meet; most stayed stuck on the idea that unless we met at the Lutheran facility and unless we had a man we could call pastor, and unless that man had at least the makings of a Master’s degree in something religious, then we couldn’t survive as a church and we wouldn’t really be a church. Both the fellow they called in and I tried repeatedly to help them understand the fallacy of this approach. But it was not to be.

We limped along with the aid of the fellow called in by the informal leaders of the congregation. We didn’t grow in numbers. Instead, we slowly shrank.

Eventually, the fellow they called in, the fellow who is now one of my counselors (I hate to use the word “mentor”. It seems so pretentious.), had to leave. He could no longer work for free. The informal leaders wanted to govern the church with something called a Leadership Team. At that point, I had to object. If they were going to do that, I pointed out, I could not keep the title of Elder, especially since I viewed being an elder as a huge responsibility. I had to explain, as politely as I could, that if I didn’t have the authority of the elder, as laid out in Scripture, then I was certainly not willing to take up the responsibility for their souls.

The church held a meeting several months ago to discuss the constitution and to try to identify changes needed for the constitution. In that meeting, several people made known their objection to a Reformed approach to theology and governance. With few exceptions, the rest of the members agreed. They weren’t interested in the 1689 London Baptist Confession. They weren’t interested in Calvin, Luther, Augustine, and they didn’t know the constitution was filled with so much Reformed references. They just wanted to read the Bible. Period. It became apparent at that point I should find a place where “my gifts can be better used.” I then tendered my resignation as a member and let them know that my last day would be the Wednesday night I finished the Bible Study series on the Tabernacle as a type of Jesus Christ. That fell on May 21, 2014.

I have to admit I learned a lot. The challenge of serving as an elder was huge. Working with the man the informal leaders brought in to replace me was actually very good for me. I was able to watch him and learn (he had about twenty-five years as a pastor/missionary/church planter/etc.) as he dealt with the congregation and as he tried and failed (just like me) to direct them to a good understanding of what a church actually is. I have to admit I don’t feel so bad after watching him and trying to help.

At the moment I’m just depressurizing. I attended another church last week. It was great to just sit there and listen to an outstanding exposition of the word. I didn’t have to work the sound board or set up the projector, or make sure the microphones had good batteries, or make sure all the sound levels were good, or put all the equipment away after service. I didn’t have to think about preparing for Wednesday night Bible Study or worry whether or not Movie Night, featuring a really good dramatization of the Book of Daniel, was going to go well. All I had to do was sit with my wife and listen to (I’m promise you I’m not making this up) a sermon on the significance of the Tabernacle as a type of Jesus Christ and His work on the Cross.

At this point, all I can do is quote Superman, quoting Bizzaro Superman: “Life am good.”

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!! All to the Glory of God

February 17, 2014

Image

 

I was going to leave the young(?) woman alone, but Ms. Pullings seems to be getting further and further from living the life of a godly woman.  Of course, I will lead with the usual disclaimers:  I can’t say the woman is not saved.  I can’t say the woman doesn’t pray every day.  But I can be pretty sure she is showing none of the characteristics of a godly woman, of a woman dedicated to bringing glory to God at all times, or who prays to the God and creator of this universe and not the celestial bell hop of the Word of Faith crowd.  And I can say is the she has learned well the lessons of the other pimps set on separating the foolish sheep from their money, their time, and, ultimately, their opportunities to grow and develop as Christians. 

Take a look at the announcement Medina’s birthday party.  Again she (or some of her sycophantic followers) want us to celebrate her life.  But take a look at the picture again.  What do you see? 

  1.  Medina is at the center of the photo.  Yes, it’s her birthday, but why are we celebrating it?  The very appearance of her image at the center of the graphic is very telling.
  2. The background has nothing but images of the world.  Downtown, lots of bustle, lots of business and prosperity. 
  3. There is no mention, even on a token level, of Jesus Christ.  The event is, apparently, all about her, all about giving stuff to her, all about Medina.  Tell me again how this is dying to self and putting on Christ.

Now, have you listened to her preach?  If you have, you may begin to understand how a supposed woman of God can be so shallow and worldly (as in pursuing goals in no way related to Jesus Christ and His glory).  If you haven’t listened to her, I’ve included a sample below.  Take a listen.  It’s twenty minutes long so it will take a bit of patience and a bit of pain if you pay attention to Scripture at all.  But once you go through it, you will begin to understand.  Look especially around the following approximate times, some a little before some a little after:

  1. 0:35
  2. 0:51
  3. 2:09
  4. 4:02
  5. 4:39
  6. 4:44
  7. 4:52

Now you have heard some of the swill she preaches to the sheeple.  It goes something like this:

If anything you think of as bad happens to you, it’s only so God can make you prosper financially/physically/medically later on.  The wicked around you seem to be doing well?  God’s going to transfer that prosperity to you.  Are you “dead” in your struggles?  God is going to resurrect you to prosperity.  Unfortunately, most of the silliness she spouts has nothing to do with Christian growth and godly prosperity. 

Before salvation, a person is dead in his sins – period.  In salvation, the believer has died and has been buried in Christ (Romans 6:3-6) and HAS BEEN resurrected into life even as Christ was resurrected (Romans 6:10,11).  There is no resurrection into financial prosperity.  To say so is to cheapen salvation to the point of mockery.  We have been raised in Christ.  And no place in that raising is the expectation of prosperity as Mrs. Pullings defines prosperity. 

She is preaching to people’s greed and often to their desperation.  And instead of telling them about Jesus Christ, savior and resurrected Lord, she spends time filling their minds with the thought that pretty soon, their gravy train is coming in and they will be able to live life large and at ease. 

But hey, if any of them can get a gig like hers (babble nonsense from the pulpit and collect money from the sheeple) I suspect their train would come in.  But the scariest part is this:  Mrs. Pulling and people like her are going to have to face God for the damage they are doing to the sheeple under them.  And an awful lot of the sheeple are going to be very disappointed when they stay as poor and as desperate as they are right now.  

Mockery, Not Spirituality

December 19, 2013

Perry andT Dexter

The laying on of hands happened months ago, and most of you have probably forgotten about it.  But I haven’t.  It took me this long to really put to words my objection to watching Madea’s and T. Dexter’s antics, antics that displayed a complete disregard for God and His holiness.

It wasn’t presumptuous.  Well, it was presumptuous.  But it was much more, much worse than that.  Saul’s action after Samuel told him to wait until Samuel had offered a sacrifice before going into battle was presumptuous.   And that presumption cost Saul his kingdom.  (1 Samuel 13:7-14)  But again, this goes beyond presumption.

Consider who was involved in this much discussed event.   T. Dexter (a man who only recently “figured out” that God is triune in nature) and Tyler Perry, the creator of Madea and Mr. Deed, the main character who decides to travel across Africa with his mistress and her daughter.

Tyler Perry consistently turns out movies that either denigrate the Church or present a world view that is exactly opposed to even an approximation of holiness before God.  T. Dexter is, at best, disingenuous and at worst deceptive.

T. Dexter denies being a prosperity preacher, yet continues to preach word of faith doctrine.  He seems pretty determined to feminize men with such concepts as he-motions, dancing in the aisles (like a woman) and general feminization of the male characteristics.

Laying on of hands is a dead serious act.  It is used to appoint elders and deacons within the church.  In Acts 19:6, with the spreading of Christianity, it was used in Ephesus to demonstrate that Christianity is indeed to be preached to the Gentiles without the need to become a Christian first.  In Ephesus, it was performed by an Apostle and validated the idea that Christianity is to be preached to the uttermost parts of the world.  These are not trivialities.  At all times it is a solemn action.

At best, the behavior of these two men was nothing short of a mockery.

Here’s the event I am talking about starting at about 3:12 so you can avoid listening to Tyler Perry let us know how much money he’s giving to one of the project TPH has going.

When asked about the event, the best T. Dexter could come up with was saying that he didn’t know what had happened.  I suspect the falling out was nothing more than theatre for the benefit of the men and women (the sheeple) who are a part of the crowd there at The Potter’s House.   This seems a lot more likely if you notice some hefty men stand behind T. Dexter before Perry got there.   They wouldn’t want the Right Reverend to fall on his…um…derriere right in front of everybody, now would they?

So here we have a fornicator (remember, a while back Tyler Perry was in a panic because he thought his girlfriend might be pregnant).  Now, correct me if I am wrong, but for the most part, there ain’t but one way for a woman to get pregnant, and it’s not from sitting on a toilet seat.  So now, this guy gets up in front of the crowd and lets everyone know he’s giving TPH a million dollars.  He even starts speaking in “tongues” and speaking of hearing from God.  Then around 3:10 he makes the astounding statement that “in order for me to blessed, my haters have to be present.”  An interesting interpretation/application of Psalm 23.

But, as if to put icing on the cake, the praise lady starts screeching about Jakes pushing so he could have his baby.  Huh?!?!  Did I mention that Jakes seems set on feminizing men?  (See 3:54)

And all this time the crowd is going wild, jumping pews, dancing in the aisles and generally having a fit.

God does not like being mocked.   In the Old Testament God struck a couple of dudes dead because they offered up a strange fire.  (Lev 10:1-2)  And these two were sons of Aaron.  Definitely an indicator that God is not a respecter of persons.  Galatians, a little more gently, clearly indicates that God will not be mocked.  Galatians 6:7 states that whatever corruption you sow to, it is that corruption that you will reap from.

These two clowns, apparently more than willing to mock God for a tax write-off,  a little publicity, and some money have put themselves in the position of being opposed to God.  No, they’re not saying “I am opposed to God.”  Instead, they are doing the very things God tells us not to do, behaving as if they are being obedient to God.

Elders are to lay hands.  And elders are to have a good reputation.  They are to be able to defend the faith.  They are to turn people away from bad doctrine.  Neither Tyler P. nor Thomas D. is doing any of this.

I watch these men strut about, playing at Christianity and it saddens me to think of the damage they are doing to Christianity and the people whose faith they are wrecking.

Bottom line:  Stay away from these men.   They are religious.  They are not godly.  Stay away from these men.  They are pretenders, using the sheeple (as dumb as some of them may be) for their own purposes.   They are mockers .(2 Peter 3:3)   No, they are not denying the return of Christ, but watch some of the movies and plays he has produced.  They are definitely following after their own lusts.

Pimpoliciousness On Display

October 11, 2013

Haddon and Babe v1

So I was looking through the items I had recorded on my DVR and lo and behold, the recorder was in the process of capturing “Preachers of LA.”  In an effort to get a leg up on my postings (I am woefully behind – I have only myself and those awful people who create materials for the television to blame) I watched some of the program.  I could only take a little.  I’ll watch the rest of it over the week end and report back to you.

The producers selected an excellent example of what will likely be a recurring theme in my complaints and objections.

Deitrick Haddon was the first “reality scene” I saw.  While doing the pastor stuff, he and his wife began divorce procedures.  Before the divorce was final (the divorce proceedings were bad enough), that is, while he was still married to his first wife, he hooked up with a younger honey and…wait for it…got her pregnant.  So unless she is a fertile as a rabbit, not only did he produce a child with this woman, he did it while he was married to the first wife.

Now he is divorced from his first wife and engaged to the younger honey.  And they have a two year old son.  And he still preaches.

While I can’t quite remember where it is, I thought Scripture said that a pastor/elder/bishop has be a man of good reputation.  I guess maybe I don’t understand what it means to have a good reputation.

Now obviously I’m not talking about living in sinless perfection.  We all sin.  We all fall short of the glory of God.  If we didn’t, there would have been no need for Jesus’ death on the cross.  But Paul was talking about public sin with respect to reputation.  Reputation goes to what is known about you publicly, not the private sins you may struggle mightily against.  Mr. Haddon does not have a good reputation.  He doesn’t have one now.  He won’t have one five years from now.  He won’t have one ten years from now.  According to Scripture he should be disqualified for further ministry as an elder/pastor/bishop.  Instead, he is promoted and we are encouraged to ignore the obvious.

But what we see is an acceptance of sinful behavior in the pulpit.  More importantly, we see a glorification of sinful behavior in the pulpit.  And more importantly than that, we are seeing the church presented as a “popularity whore” rather than the bride to be presented as spotless to Christ.

As I said in a previous post, I’m sadly confident that this show will be a source of some most magnificent pimpoliciousness.

Stand by.

My Friend Died Yesterday

August 24, 2013

I hate to admit it, but this Christian maturity thing is hard.  Knowing that death is out there is one thing.  Losing a friend to death is quite another.  As with most things, the general knowledge of a thing is just not the same as a personal knowledge.

A friend died yesterday; a man I had been disicipling and encouraging to grow in Christian maturity.  And I could actually see the growth.

Like many of us, he was a refugee from Hillcrest Baptist Church.  He, like the rest of us, was feeling insecure and hurt spiritually.

But about a year and a half ago he just seemed to ignite.  We had been going over a couple of  Lewis S. Chafer books, “Major Bible Themes” and “True Evangelism” and he had ignited with respect to Evangelism.  Wednesday, we held a training session in preparation for going to Iverson Mall this past Saturday (24 August 2013).  He died Friday, 23 August 2013.

I won’t try to pass off the usual bromides.  I am certain he was, as Jesus called it, born again.  So yes, his sins were washed by the blood of Jesus and he had the righteousness of Christ.  And yes, the Bible promises that when we are absent from the body, we are present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:6-8).  But a personal experience with death helps us, helps me, to understand that those who are left behind will miss the one who is now present with the Lord.

The knowledge of salvation gives those left behind a reason to both mourn (however long we need to mourn) the loss of a loved one and to rejoice in knowing, with the assurance of the Bible, that the one we love has “gone to be with the Lord.”

That phrase, gone to be with the Lord, is not simply a euphemism for “died.”  It is, when used with any understanding on the part of the Christian, an affirmation of faith for the Christian.  It is an affirmation of the statements the Bible makes about the result of death for the Christian.  It is an affirmation of our faith in the truth of the Gospel and in the faithfulness of God.    It is an affirmation of our faith in the ultimate destination of the Christian.

If we believe Jesus died on the cross, if we believeHe was raised from the dead, if we believe He ascended into heaven nds sits at the right hand of God, then we can be comforted with the Bible’s assurance that when we are absent from the body, we are present with the Lord.

I don’t know what that presence looks like.  I don’t know what that presence feels like.  But I do know that we are promised that presence.  And given that God is faithful even when we are unfaithful (2 Tim 2:13), we can have the assurance that the unsaved lack.

My friend died yesterday.   I will miss him.  But I know, based on the word of my Lord and Savior, that my friend has gone to be with the Lord.

Calling All Men – Sort Of

August 1, 2013

Okay, I’ve decided to up my game yet again.  I got the P.I.M.P Temple going, but now I’m trying to get more men into the building.  I instituted the dance ministry with “Boom Boom “ Parker, the former exotic dancer, years ago.  On Sundays when she’s ministering, male attendance goes through the roof.  And all the wives show up too.   And offerings?  They are huge!  A couple of times, I was able to replace my Bentley with a newer one, paying in cash using the offering from one Sunday service.   All I have to do now is figure out how to keep the guys attending on the other Sundays and throughout the week.

Someone suggested I preach sermons that challenge them to be strong, aggressive Christian men.  You know, men who know who they are in Christ; men who are willing to take the challenge of giving themselves for their wives (Ephesians 5:25, 26), who know what they believe and are eager to teach it to their children, who are out in society making a rational and thoughtful stand for Jesus Christ no matter the cost; who are able to engage the culture, presenting a reason for the hope that lies within.

On the other hand, a couple of my close buddies suggested I fill my sermons with easy to remember phrases and soporific sayings.  You know the form.  I start a sentence by saying “God is good…” and get them trained to finish it with “…all the time.”  Or “When the praises go up…” they respond “…the blessing come down.”  It keeps them from thinking about the results of sin in the world, God’s sovereignty, or the purpose of suffering in the Christian’s life.

I’m kind of going with the second option.  If I do that, the men feel like they’re participating.  And they stay stupid.  If they stay stupid, the wives won’t feel intimidated by men who actually want to lead their families in stuff like devotion, bible study, disciplining the children, and who expect their wives to look to them for godly, spirit-filled leadership.  Right now, the wives look to me, and that means a good collection each and every Sunday – and sometimes for Wednesday night Bible Study.

If I go the other way, and actually take them through Scripture, several things happen.  First – I have to actually read the Bible and see what it says.  And who has time for that?  If I teach them what Scripture actually says, I wouldn’t be able to do and say the things I do and say.  I’d probably have to get rid of the dance ministry, or at least cut Boom Boom from the payroll.  I’d have to stop insisting that they tithe and give me a love offering.  And then I wouldn’t be able to dress in nice clothes, drive a neat car or stay in a house that not only is in a gated community but has its own gate and fence as well.

Yeah.  The more I think about it, the better the second option sounds.  I’ve been in It for the money for the last six years.  There’s really no reason to change now.  Besides, I have bills to pay.

Danny Canasta

July 30, 2013

danny Canasta

I guess everyone, even the pulpit pimps, have to start small and work their way up.  I’m sure at one time, Ken Copeland’s protégé Leroy Thompson was just a grammatically challenged Black preacher who wanted to make it big at the expense of the saints.  And Jesse Duplantis was just a big toothed joker out of Louisiana.  Cashflow Dollar?  I think he ran a church out of his house.  So I probably shouldn’t be too hard on Danny Davis, a relatively unknown seller of oils, waters, prayer cloths and other miraculous materials.  I wouldn’t be too surprised if he is selling Bibles autographed by the Apostle Paul.  They’d be King James translations of course – same translation Paul used.

When I went out to the pimp’s site, he had the obligatory serious looking picture of himself, as shown above.  At first I thought he looked like Mike Murdoch, a scary enough prospect all by itself.  And that’s when it struck me.  He doesn’t look like Mike Murdoch.  He looks like…well, he looks like the cowboy that went up against Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny.

He looks like Nasty Canasta.  Never heard of him?  Here’s a photo of one of my favorite Looney Tunes bad guys.

nasty-canasta

He even has the same facial hair arrangement as Danny Boy.  What more could you ask for?

We know Mr. Canasta is something of a start-up.  And we know he’s a pimp, a big dog wannabe.  He’s running all the beginner’s scams and he’s running them at beginner’s prices.

As you can see, he’s got four ways for you to bless him.   You can make a Breakthrough Seed offering of $333.  Or you can give a Prophetic Seed offering of $430.  Or, if you’re feeling particularly Biblical, you give a Genesis 26:12 offering of $26.12.  And finally, he gives you the open ended option of sending him a tithe.  He doesn’t even put a price…um…amount on that one.

four ways to take your money

But I guess he must not be doing too well at the moment.  It doesn’t look like he’s had much time or resources to keep the site updated.  The only announcement talks about an event in Dallas on April 28th of this year.

Late Announcement

I kind of suspect you people need to support this man so he can begin to make his way to full-fledged pimpdom.  At the moment, he’s just knocking around the edges, appearing on TWN.

But seriously, why do you tolerate the appearance of such men on stations that claim to be presenting the Word of God?


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