Archive for July, 2013

Danny Canasta

July 30, 2013

danny Canasta

I guess everyone, even the pulpit pimps, have to start small and work their way up.  I’m sure at one time, Ken Copeland’s protégé Leroy Thompson was just a grammatically challenged Black preacher who wanted to make it big at the expense of the saints.  And Jesse Duplantis was just a big toothed joker out of Louisiana.  Cashflow Dollar?  I think he ran a church out of his house.  So I probably shouldn’t be too hard on Danny Davis, a relatively unknown seller of oils, waters, prayer cloths and other miraculous materials.  I wouldn’t be too surprised if he is selling Bibles autographed by the Apostle Paul.  They’d be King James translations of course – same translation Paul used.

When I went out to the pimp’s site, he had the obligatory serious looking picture of himself, as shown above.  At first I thought he looked like Mike Murdoch, a scary enough prospect all by itself.  And that’s when it struck me.  He doesn’t look like Mike Murdoch.  He looks like…well, he looks like the cowboy that went up against Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny.

He looks like Nasty Canasta.  Never heard of him?  Here’s a photo of one of my favorite Looney Tunes bad guys.

nasty-canasta

He even has the same facial hair arrangement as Danny Boy.  What more could you ask for?

We know Mr. Canasta is something of a start-up.  And we know he’s a pimp, a big dog wannabe.  He’s running all the beginner’s scams and he’s running them at beginner’s prices.

As you can see, he’s got four ways for you to bless him.   You can make a Breakthrough Seed offering of $333.  Or you can give a Prophetic Seed offering of $430.  Or, if you’re feeling particularly Biblical, you give a Genesis 26:12 offering of $26.12.  And finally, he gives you the open ended option of sending him a tithe.  He doesn’t even put a price…um…amount on that one.

four ways to take your money

But I guess he must not be doing too well at the moment.  It doesn’t look like he’s had much time or resources to keep the site updated.  The only announcement talks about an event in Dallas on April 28th of this year.

Late Announcement

I kind of suspect you people need to support this man so he can begin to make his way to full-fledged pimpdom.  At the moment, he’s just knocking around the edges, appearing on TWN.

But seriously, why do you tolerate the appearance of such men on stations that claim to be presenting the Word of God?

Triple A – Now and Always

July 21, 2013

Minor league john

Sometimes it really does seem like I pick on poor old John Kenneth Jenkins Sr., the senior pastor of First Baptist Church of Glenarden on the Kettering (FBCGotK) more than I do the other pimps.  And maybe I do.  After all, he’s such a low hanging fruit.  And it’s actually kind of interesting to watch him as he tries to work himself out of the Pulpit Pimps Minor Leagues to the Pulpit Pimp Major Leagues.

What’s not so interesting is watching him compromise what few principles he may still have by bringing in men and women who want to devour the congregation and destroy it with their noxious stands.

FBCGotK signed up for a Leadership Conference coming up shortly.  So the plan is to bring in men and women who can help develop Christian leaders within the church.  With the right development, members of the church would be able to go out and establish more congregations where there pretty much are none.  That’s the kind of leadership we’re talking about, right?  Unfortunately, not.  That isn’t the kind of leadership we are talking about.

Here’s the line up.

Leadership-players

With one exception (maybe), the speakers have, at best, a questionable connection to Christianity.  The planned speakers are:

  • Colin Powell
  • Bill Hybels
  • Mark Burnett
  • Andy Stanley

Okay, except for the fact that he is appearing with the current slate of speakers, I don’t have much to complain about Andy Stanley.

Most of you know Colin Powell.  And many of you may know he holds a pro-abortion stance .  And he endorses the idea of equating homosexual “marriage” to normal, or heterosexual marriage .  An example for godly men?  Really?

I understand that the Leadership Conference is packaged by Willow Creek.  And I understand that John Kenneth Jenkins didn’t actually invite Colin Powell to speak.  In essence, the roster is what it is.  But the question I have to ask is:  Why would he work with a “Christian” group (Willow Creek) that would present a man with such clearly anti-Christian values?  And why would he invite them to speak in his church, where he claims to be God’s mouthpiece to the members of FBCGotK?

Then there is Mr. Burnett.  While I am not a fan of reality shows (I really hate them, but I can’t seem to find Scripture to prove that God thinks they’re an abomination), I can say the man did a number on the Bible with the miniseries by the same name.  The Noah’s Ark leaked, Jesus (aka Surfer Dude) was confused about why he was here, Paul was so much less than apostolic, and Samson had dreads, and a British accent.

For a person who says he wants to be busy “Developing Dynamic Disciples”, John Kenneth Jenkins sure is piping some poor examples into that $55 million mausoleum and memorial.

On the other hand, by hosting these things, he establishes contacts that will do him well as he fights his way out of AAA to the Big Leagues.  While I cannot and will not say the man is not saved, I can say that his interest is mostly for himself and making himself as large as possible; usually to the detriment of the men around him.

John and a host of other pimps have nothing more in mind than making themselves look large even if it ends in the destruction of the men and women whose souls he and the rest of the leaders/elder keep watch over (Hebrews 13:17).

It Gets Worse

July 16, 2013

TD and Oprah

I’ve been more or less out of circulation for a couple of years. You know, trying to take care of my wife after her fall. While sounding the alarm about the sheeple is really important, my first responsibility is to my wife and her physical and spiritual well-being. As she improves (and she does, slowly, each day) I get more and more of my time back. And as long as I can avoid addict behavior toward the television, I have more time than I have had in the last three years to expose the pimps and pimpettes.

I had hoped that during my self-imposed time out, the pulpit pimps would stop pimping and that the sheeple would stop supporting them. But that was an unrealistic hope. As the Bible says: Can a leopard change its spots (Jer 13:23)? Can a thing do anything other than what its nature demands? Can a pulpit pimp be anything more than a pulpit pimps? Without a move of God in his or her heart, no. Recent information once again gives truth to the Bible.

T. Dexter, the man who only just now kind of, sort of figured out that God is Trinitarian in nature, is holding another MegaFest (here after known as MegaMess). This time he’s holding it in Dallas Texas.

But it gets worse. Guess who one of his primo speakers is? That’s right – Oprah Winfrey.
If you recall, Oprah has made it very clear that she rejects Jesus Christ both as Savior and as the only way to God the Father. Take a look here so you can hear her for yourself. She’s going to be speaking on…well, let me quote a press release of hers.

“[Winfrey] will be joined by Bishop Jakes and together they will continue the important work of reaching out to the many fatherless sons and daughters who are struggling and in need of healing,”

Let me make sure I understand this. T. Dexter is holding an event that is, given the majority of the subjects and the profession of the speakers, a Christian event. And he invites a woman who is clearly an enemy of the Gospel. If it’s just “spiritual” he should say so. Then Christians would know to stay away and Oprah could be right at home.

Don’t misunderstand. I don’t have a problem with Oprah acting in a manner consistent with her own testimony. She denies Jesus Christ and she promotes idolatry and lies. That’s fine. She’s unsaved. Why would I expect anything else?

But it gets worse. Guess what other luminary will be speaking at the festival.

Creflo_Dollar-mugshot

Creflo (aka Cashflow) Dollar will be there. This is the man who gave a sermon that insisted that Jesus became God. He wasn’t always God, says Cashflow. He’s also one of the many high visibility preachers who claims that Jesus suffered in hell for our sins. His death on the cross only made it possible for us to have supernatural health. And even then, it only made it possible.

So far, we have a man who recently, maybe, figured out that God is triune in nature, a Godless promoter of New Age lies, and a preacher who not only denies the absolute deity of Jesus Christ but denies the efficacy of the cross in making payment for sin.

But it gets worse. Guess who else is going to be there? Yeah. Joel “Willow Boy” Osteen and his wife Victoria. He likely is going to teach us how to have our best lives now, or make every day a Saturday, or something.

oprah-osteen

But it gets worse. Guess who’s promoting the event and helping to arrange travel to Dallas to take part in the event. Yeah – John Kenneth Jenkins Senior, the senior pastor at First Baptist Church of Glenarden on the Kettering (FBCGotK).

jenkins-and-mausoleum

The man people keep saying is a godly man is promoting an event that features a straight up Christ denying heathen (yes, it’s an ugly word, but it accurately describes the unsaved). He’s promoting an event that features a heretic and a man who wouldn’t know sin if it bit him on the butt.

You folks out there who attend FBCGotK, do me and you a favor. Contact your pastor and ask him why he is sending people to an event that features Oprah and why he is promoting an event that is featuring a man who denies the efficacy of the cross for our sins.

Oh wait. I forgot. You likely won’t be able to contact him to ask him about it. His armor bearers would probably tackle you and put your behind in a full nelson.

Well, maybe you can talk to a couple of the deacons and see what they say. Maybe you can contact Stan Featherstone. I think he’s still the church administrator. Or maybe one of the other deacons. Maybe they can explain why John K. Jenkins Sr. is associating with and supporting such men and women as these. Maybe he can explain why he is helping to give them the appearance of legitimacy and sacrificing those for whom his is responsible for his own fame.

But then again, a lot of you sheeple see absolutely nothing wrong with what he is doing. Or if you do think it’s wrong, you claim it’s not your job to do or say anything about it. After all, we shouldn’t touch God’s anointed.

But then there are those of you who know what John is doing is wrong and know he should be corrected. But you don’t say anything and instead keep silent and remain there, supporting this man with your time, your talent and your treasure. Of you I can only say “May God have mercy on your souls.” You have failed to sound the alarm and instead have remained silent while the sheeple are destroyed (Ezek 33:1-6). You who sit there silently are the watchmen who will have, as Ezekiel points out, the blood of the slaughtered on your hands.

Oh yeah – for schlubs out there who respond to any observations with “Well, I never heard him say that, or promote this, or do that”, here is the promotion from the FBCGotK website. Take a look at it. Hit Contol + if you have to magnify it slightly. Look at it. Understand that your pastor, the man who is to watch over your souls, is sending you to sit under heathen, heretics, and motivational speakers.

Megamess announcement from FBCG Site

Twirling Spaghetti

July 10, 2013

pasta-fork

Every once in a while, it becomes obvious that life isn’t made up of a bunch of really big, exciting events. Sometimes we are actually able to recognize that it’s the apparently little things, little victories that mark real progress through life.

As many of you know, Peggy fell down the steps about three years ago, right in the middle of Snowmegeddon. I’ve kept you loosely posted on how she’s doing, put out an occasional Tweet when we do something exciting (well, exciting for us because it represents some measure of progress), and posted the occasional article on Puplit Pimps – like this one.

If you remember, when she began rehabilitation, she couldn’t do much of anything. She couldn’t hold her fork or spoon, she couldn’t sit up by herself, she couldn’t brush her teeth or perform a variety of other activities one would normally do for themselves. During rehab she fairly quickly got to the point of being able to hold a spoon (as long as it had a big fat handle attachment). And though it took ten to fifteen minutes, she was able to brush her teeth by herself. Once we got home, she got to the point she could sit up by herself. Eating was still a little messy and exhausting, but she could do it.

At the beginning of this adventure I predicted we would make rapid progress and then get to the point of steady, but grinding progress where little things might go unnoticed if we’re not looking for them.

As I said, earlier, Peggy had trouble just holding a fork. And keeping the food on it until it got to her mouth was a whole additional issue. A couple of days ago we were having dinner and lo and behold, without even thinking about it, she twirled her fork to get hash browns onto her fork! Check out the video starting at about 0:29 to see what I’m talking about. That’s not her, but it’s exactly what she did, easily.

The progress is slow. But the progress is there. Between the incredibly boring diet to address the Multiple Sclerosis symptoms, and the deceptively simple exercises to help her redevelop her muscles and coordination, she can see progress. Heck, I can see progress.

And while we still have a couple or three friends who will call and blaspheme God by rebuking Satan, and encouraging her to claim her healing, we are learning to depend on Christ and His strength. I am still learning to be patient, and she is learning to like my cooking, or at least to hold it down once she has swallowed it. And even though I know exactly where the friends live, I have almost completely gotten over the urge to key their cars and flatten all the tires.

The Mother Lode of Pimpolicious Materials

July 10, 2013

One reader notified me that Oxygen TV has given me the Mother Lode of pimp material (for you people in San Francisco – it means a lot of material) for the site. Coming soon to a cable channel near you: “Preachers of LA”!

Take a look at the YouTube video. See if you recognize any of the pimps. You should. There’s everybody from Noel (the Weasel) Jones, to McClendon (who seems to have gained a new congregation after leaving his wife for a much younger honey) to a couple of no names. One of whom is apparently living with his main squeeze).

According to Noel “The Weasel”, he’s doing the series in order to show that pastors are only human.

Don’t ask me to explain it. I just report on the stuff and develop high blood pressure getting upset about it. And because I care about you, even though I can’t stand reality shows, I’m going to watch this series and report back to you.

A tip of the hat to R4C.